Monday, April 12, 2010

"My Social Media Cross Roads"

In the past i have blogged about me being a fairly private person. At one time I almost stopped blogging. I have for the most part enjoyed social media, it gave me an avenue to meet people who I would not have normally met in my daily life. I am happy to call some of these people friends.

 But it seems that others insist on continuing with back channel talk, pressing one person against another, for what ever reasons they have. These actions may seem benign, usual and generally accepted behavior, people will posture to gain social acceptance. It is common everywhere.

 What makes this different is in most face to face social interactions and circles, we choose who we wish to be with, talk to, interact with. If you do not care for a person or trust them you do not talk to them. If you have to for professional reasons you keep it that professional.
 In social media it does not seem to work this way. There are friend collectors... you know the ones. People who never stop following anyone and say, "Look at Me!, I have this many friends!" when they clearly do not like most of them. Or the "what have you done for me lately" folks who keep you around as long as you offer them some value all the time, but when you need them disappear.
 Social media can and does allow people with little or no in person, personal skills interact without the risk of connection.
  But this post is really about me... I am ill, been through a lot of late, the loss of my father, physical and mental health issues, have made me vulnerable. I have found myself sinking into the social media drama. Maybe out of not working full time, or looking for an escape from the issues in my life. But it was making me a person I did not like, and I am grateful to a friend who noticed this trend in me and told me about it.
 What I do need to to be around and talk with people who "want" to talk and be with me because they care, they value my friendship, they genuinely like who and what I am warts and all. I am not perfect far from it. I openly discuss my shortcomings and battle them daily. I understand that I am not everyones cup of tea and I am also ok with that. What I am not ok with is people pretending to care or like me and railing me behind my back. I am ok if you have a problem with me to tell me out right or just do not interact with me. I am a big boy and will survive.

 I still cannot get my crazy head around who would choose too interact with or read the words of someone they do not like or trust it is baffling. To attack a person who is ill or having a rough time is just cruel and downright mean.

 I am not leaving social media because I do see it's value, it can be social and productive I still believe in it. What I will do is re-evaluate how and who I interact with on it. I will no longer, I think have a personal twitter but only stick to my biz one. I will still blog as it works for me. It is a shame that actions of a few can effect me so, but I am fragile right now, easily bruised and seeking some shelter from the emotional storm. If you are one of my friends I do love you and will not stop, I value you in my life.

Please people be kind to each other, you may not know who needs it right now or who is feeling isolated. Your words and actions have a ripple effect across life. My ability to trust has been stretched to it;s breaking point. I am questioning my trait of being open and transparent because it seems some will use that to their own end. Bare with me as I hope to return to my old self soon.


  1. I am so sorry that you are hurting - and that social networking (especially twitter) is causing you more harm.

    I still like you, and feel blessed that I can call you my friend. And that never would have happened, if you hadn't come across my twitter page that features a crazy hasid/communist sockmonkey named Ishmael :)

    Please take care of yourself. And I hope that you will not be a stranger in my life. Because I really do adore you.

  2. I follow some folks who's personalities don't necessarily mesh with mine but I still find value in what they have to say. So I keep following.

    That said, you're not one of those people. I like you AND I value what you have to say. You're one funny MF'er. And seeing as we only just met for the first time the other day I look forward to getting to know you better.

    I'm one of those folks who's having a rough time of late. I agree, having people to share my ups and downs with is important to the point where I actually believe my friends have saved my life numerous times.

    Trust is tough thing. We never know what someone 'really' thinks of us. Focusing on that has made me nearly insane in the past. I try to be as genuine as possible, after all I have to sleep at night.

  3. I kind of think trust and relationships (platonic, etc.) kind of like the lottery - you've got to be in it to win it. The odds are stacked against you seeing a return on the ticket you invested in ... but you've gotta take a chance if you want to win.

  4. I haven't been on Twitter for very long, but I'm noticing that it's like high school. A popularity contest. :S

  5. Hang in there, friend. Better times are ahead. Thank you for not leaving us. I enjoy your writing, and even when I'm not actively interacting, appreciate all of your submissions to the Twitterverse. xoxox