I have been out of hospital for a week now and while I maybe on the road to recovery I am not firing on all cylinders yet. I was referred to a Shrink near me for my care after my stay at the Hotel California and was at first happy to have been directed to one so close to me. I was soon shockingly mistaken. My old Dr. who was wonderful and I had reached a pivot point in our relationship and it was clear that our relationship was not assisting me in moving forward. No blame it just reached it therapeutic terminus. The other Dr whom I love and has to be one of the most caring and kind men not just medical professionals is retiring, and he will be a much missed advocate for all who live with Mental Illness .
So today i went to meet my new doc with a open mind and WOW it was not only traumatic but I must admit the worst treatment I have ever received by a Mental Health Pr crap I cannot even call her a professional. She acted from the moment I met her in a hugely patronizing manner in one of those monotone I think you are a asshole kinda voices, mixed with a smile that is a atom thin veil of disgust. I guess she read this blog, HI DOC !!! and figured that I am a not who she thinks is a Sheep enough to be honored by her care. She just took my history, smiled art me like I just ate her favorite natural cotton caftan and playacted me like some idiot. Either I am too fucked up and self aware/ advocating . I think she has another agenda and it is one that I theologically do not subscribe to .
Psychiatric medicine should be a safe pl;ace for all to be. Especially consumers who are recently out of hospital and fragile. Not a place which I left in full on tears and in a major anxiety attack. Only thankfully to a friend I worked my way through safely. If I was someone else or in a more weakened state and left in that space and because of the experience was bent on self harm, she would have been responsible plain and simple. If I was a lets say a paitent with angina no doctor would have treated me that way. So it begs to ask, are we living with Mental Illness treated with less concern than others? Maybe but not by all, but by too many.
I will find a new doctor one without an agenda and a distaste for strong self aware/involved patients. I am driven to become healthier than I have been and to seek new growth in my mental wellness. We all deserve dignity and that is all I ask for.