"A Reflection on Missed Mother's Days"

Today is Mother's Day we all celebrate the amazing women who have raised us or are raising our children or anyone children. This day is not limited to Birth Moms or Mom's of adopted children but also step mothers, or women who are playing a vital role in the lives of our children.

 Some of you may know I was married, my amazing partner in crime J.J. who was my best friend, lover, talented photojournalist and friend to all died at age 35 of Ovarian Cancer. J.J. was kind, funny and had more love to give than any other person I had ever met. You need proof she loved me after all.

 We had always wanted children but Jennifer was unable to have kids of her own which was not a issue as I am adopted and we both liked the idea of continuing and creating a tradition. But we were never able to see that blessing come true.

  Before J.J. became sick we were in the final stages of adoption and were looking forward to soon picking up the newest member of our family. We looked at all the options, adopting a baby from the U.S. adopting a older child from the US. We looked at Asia and Eastern Europe. We finally decided on a Russian child, not a infant but between 1 & 7 years old.

 We had spent alot of time in Russia for work so we flew to Russia and visited and filled out the stacks of papers. In 8 months we were approved, we celebrated we built a room in our NYC loft and prepared our families and friends.

 Three weeks later Jennifer was diagnosed, we were devastated and we had to cancel our adoption, as we did not want our new child to loose her or his mother in the first year of their life with us. Jennifer would have been an amazing Mum, her ability to love, her gentle humanity, her never ending loyalty and humor would have been an amazing place for a child to grow.

  This Mother's Day is also for her, a women who was a mother before she had the chance, a women who saw all children as hers in her eyes and was passionate about children's issues.

 If you have not yet called your Mum do so. If you have issues with your Mum send her a letter. If you know a Mum tell her you appreciate her.