Monday, May 10, 2010

"Relationship Structural Engineering or How to Mend Bridges"


pic from
Sometime in our quest for self discovery we leave in our wakes a crumbling social infrastructure of broken or in alot of cases personal bridges of disrepair. We pass through the lives of so many people on our journey, some we remember, so we do not and even some we had harmed or had harmed us. Also we neglect alot of our social bridges taking them for granted thinking they will always be strong and be there to carry us when we need them. This is not true, if left un- tended un -cared for these bridges fall apart.

   Now that I see that my life is what it is, I sit and think about these bridges, the ones left, taken for granted, the ones that I crushed like Godzilla in Tokyo and have decided it is time for a infrastructure upgrade. I as you all know can be a asshat, I have in my past treated some friends poorly or worse taken alot of people for granted. I intend to change this starting today.

  It is not easy for us to mend these relationships, sometimes we forget what we are mad over or we are ashamed of how we acted. In the cases of taking some people for granted it is as easy as a phone call... not a e-mail or a facebook poke or a tweet, get away from your digital shield and actually talk to someone.
 See and own your place in a disagreement, let it go it is poison in your well. If someone you care about harmed you, well maybe they have changed, maybe they need to re-build as well.

 This is cheap therapy folks and it will only free your soul. If the bridge cannot be mended, ok at least you inspected it first. But you may rebuild a old relationship or save a current one. Time to inspect our lives because with a poor foundation nothing will stand not even ourselves..........


  1. Some bridges should be left unmended. I'm so over thinking I have to be friends with everyone.

    Thanks for the post.

  2. I agree with Leslie. People who have harmed us do not deserve our friendship. People who we have harmed do not deserve our friendship.

    It is sometimes cathartic to apologize, but the deed has been done and we need to sit with our behaviour.

    The only thing we can do as humans is accept our limitations and forgive ourselves. And learn from our mistakes.

  3. Ah, but I think you are both missing part of it, yes some things and people are better left alone to rot. But miss communications, stupid mistakes, and apathy are worth looking at healing. There are people in my life that will never be forgiven and I am ok with that. but there are others who deserve a second chance or a clearing of the air.

  4. Also it is funny how, we would all like to be given another shot or chance but as soon as it is mentioned it mnaybe "our" fault... nope we shut down.