Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Day 7 Of "The Badger Goes Mental" My Brain is Kinda Broken"

suicide proof steel mirror

Happy Anniversary to Me!!! I have now been in the mental bed & breakfast for a week now, if you substitute breakfast with Lithium and powdered eggs, meh. My day today was better than yesterday not because I am feeling better but I was able to go out and wander for a few hours. In the ward things were more like you would expect for a psych ward. Some patients went off the rails and had to be put in the quiet room. One gentleman was released this morning only for me to see him being brought back to Emerg buy the RCMP. That is the difficult thing for me to see as I knew he was not ready to leave but they did and now he had to humiliated by being brought back in again by the police. It makes me question the doctors when they rush someone out who needs the bed and the care, yet keep someone in who is ready to go home or really is not a threat to themselves or others.

 Some Highlights and Lowlights from my week in Bulleted form;

  • Still no signs of Jello appearing but I am always vigilant as I fear they may put some on my bedside table while I am out.
  • I hate my shrink he is a beardo control freak and if he says that I need to loose weight one more time I will bite off his nose to spite his face, and tap dance on his apparently small genitalia.
  • My Friends Derek (@penmachine) & Airdrie (@airdrie) have been fantastic friends showing me such kindness and support that I thought was impossible not so long ago. Also their girls have made me laugh when I thought I could not laugh.
  • I am still waiting for a date for E.C.T. I guess it is busy maybe they are having a sale buy one ECT get the next one for half price.
  • I am making "Crazy People Art" in arts & crafts, I will take requests maybe sell some on estsy.
  • The nursing staff here as always are caring, sympathetic and quiet funny.
  • I have avoided the seclusion room so far, last time I was here I was locked in the rubber less rubber room 3 times.
  I cannot say that I am looking forward to another week here but I do know that I am in the right place for me at the moment and that there is nothing to be ashamed about having a Mental Illness. I just feel sad for people who know something is wrong or suffer from deep depression and do not seek help. There is a way out from this shroud of darkness, this sucker of all joy. All you have to do is talk to someone. 

I drew a map of my ward so you can all see the Badger's Enclosure! 


  1. its true. you just have to talk.... sometimes for a long time. Just switched shrinks and new guy has an even more extreme diagnosis then ever. i'll be there soon. maybe by then they will have jello

  2. Hey Steve, can I get a paper plate with gold elbow macaroni, and a misshapen ash tray for someone who doesn't smoke please?

  3. please do keep writing. it strangely fills me with hope. i did not get out of bed yesterday but today i will call for help. I coincidentally started to read just when you went on this little vacation and now have gone through and read every single entry. I'm with you, brother, we're just on opposite sides of the walls right now. Stay strong. You're helping more people than just yourself.