Thursday, November 18, 2010

"An Apology From My Heart"

Yesterday's post, came from a place in my mind ruled by, depression, and fear. In doing so I hurt and insulted some people whom I see as my closest friends and people who have stood by me when I have been at my lowest and not just when I am at my Healthiest.

 First I have to apologize to my best friend, a women who has so many times looked after me when I was down, A woman who dispite the diffulculty of raising two great kids, taking care of a very ill husband all the while juggling a  full time teaching job. Airdrie I am sorry, that my words hurt you. I am sorry if I took your friendship for granted. I have no excuses except my damaged mind, but this is little compared to the hurt I have caused you. You are my best friend, now and always. I appreciate you even if I have difficulty showing it.

 To My friends from afar like John, Barney, Eric and Al. Your friendship has been with me for years and too has suffered to some extent from my illness as well. Yet you have always stood by me, especially Al,  we grew up together and shared so many day and nights, we know each other more than two people can. I was and am still part of your family, as you are mine. Your family excepted me as their own, and welcomed me into their home when I was at my worst not just my best. A fact that brings me warmth whenever  I think of it.
Eric you too have been by my side thru so many things and even if we have not seen each other in years you will always be one of my best friends. Barns, your friendship is fairly new on this list, yet you have too been a good friend, and that was from the moment we met. I look forward to it's growth in the future.
John, I speak to you almost every day, we can talk for hours and these hours help get me through my rough days and lighten up my good ones. We are similar animals on a similar path, your friendship means more to me than I can readily wax on about. But I think you know that.

To anyone else I may have forgotten, my previous blog post was about my sense of loss of family, and my loneliness that seeps in during this time of year. It sparks a ugly behavior like envy when I see others starting to gather My depession can turn me into a person that even I would not be friends with.
I am very and completely sorry and humbled by my friends kindness and love.

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