Monday, November 8, 2010

NaBloPoMo Day 8 " And Shoes Fall From The Sky"

Waiting for the other shoe to fall, it is past time for many and not just people like me with living with a mental illness. But for us it can take us for a emotional and behavioral ride that even Chicken Little could not imagine. Yes it is ok to worry, we all do it and it is natural but for me worrying that that shoe will drop leads me into my Bipolar tail chasing. My personal Chicken Little syndrome is about fear of abandonment or that I will be disappointed by or that I will disappoint someone .

 Some may see my easy going, what happens, happens attitude as a extreme type "B" personality but it is only a survival skill that I have developed over the years. Life will always fling poo in the path of my journey and if I walk around expecting said poo to land on my face I can spend little to enjoy the journey for what it is, and yes that includes the occasional poo in face.

 Will people hurt me, probably, will life fuck with me yup, but it also does that to everyone else. The difference is that with me it could trigger my depression and anxiety in a second if I do not take a step backwards. I am a overly sensitive person I react badly to situations which trigger my emotions. I have made a attempt in my life whenever I can not to expect the shoe to drop but to see the sky beyond and the place I am in right now.

For the people living with mental illness we have had thousands of shoes drop some big some small and a lot hurt when they hit you. It is easy for us to focus on the shoe that may or may not come and soon that shoe is big enough for Mother Goose to use as a time share in Boca. The point of this is. I cannot avoid my feelings and worries, but I can try to understand them and spend too much energy letting them feed in my head.  Even Chicken Little learned that the sky is not always falling and we are all smarter than poultry.

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