Who's Agenda is it Anyway?"

Recently "Agendas" have been discussed in my world, it would be foolish and naive to think that people do not have them. They are tools we use to maneuver our lives to bring us places we wish to go. Sometimes they are benign, simple transparent, open. Like when we invite people we like over for a gathering. We wish to surround ourselves with people we like. It makes us feel good, loved, welcomed and in doing so we hope it does the same for others. Healthy agendas are also when we are open with people giving advice when such advice is not always what they want to hear, because it creates trust and deepens personal intimacy. These benign agendas are two way streets symbiotic living things that deepen our collective relationships.
 Then there are Malignant hidden agendas, dark, selfish tools to manipulate. People use these to control when they lack any real sense of personal intimacy. Hidden agenda damage people leave walls in their selfish wake. All for one's own insecurities, and needing to seem important without being selfless and kind. It is a shallow empty way to live, to interact with others.
 These are serious symptoms of emotional dishonesty a way of creating a false connection with others, a inability to allow personal intimacy into ones daily life.

 We are sometimes victims of "hidden agendas", left always wondering when the next shoe is going to drop. Keeping people from knowing us due to fear of trusting. Sometimes we are victims of being accused of having a "agenda" when we are simply nice or care about another in a open transparent way.

 Is it jelousy that motivates this? Past emotional trauma? Who really knows it is most likely both, none or somewhere in the middle. But what i know is doing so on people who are kind, gentle giving souls is just evil as you will quickly turn them into walled fortresses not allowing anyone to enter, or only let in on a leash.

 I have now choosen to distance myself from people who have them or assume everyone has them as this thought pattern is poison for my soul. I seek and need personal intimacy with others and this cannot grow in the shadow of this little known demon.

"Life's Baggage Carousel"

  As adults we all have acquired a collection of emotional baggage of all sizes, shapes and colours. It is inevitable that in our individual and collective journeys of life each time we are harmed, perceived we are harmed that we add to our emotional baggage carousel. Having a luggage collection is not always a bad thing. Our life's experiences help develop who we are, our personalities, likes, dislikes our creativity. 

 It is how we manage our emotional luggage that  tends to be the issue for most of us. Whether our bags have wheels, carry straps, or is it a steamer trunk, effects how we maneuver in our lives. Some of us over pack a small bag, stuffing so much emotional detritus into it so it spills out on the ground and on everyone around us, open and exposed. This being so easy to carry we can navigate our personal terminal easy but we leave our crap everywhere becoming emotional litterers. Some of us ,have a huge hardsided suitcase, filled with lots of our stuff, some of it dirty, stinky laundry . Sure it is easy to move around, and looks pretty good. But it's hard sides are a wall that hides who we are. It protects our emotions, not allowing others to see who and what we are, a shield to letting other know us. They see the bag and they know it has stuff in it but cannot see in it. Others still have a huge steamer trunk with just a couple items in it, banging around in big space. We expect to fill it someday because, "well I just may need it based on the fact that I already have something in it". This trunk is hard to carry not because it is full, but because we expect it to be full someday. The emotional steamer trunk says, "Just stay away", as I have been hurt and expect to be hurt again based on the few items in my big box.

 In life we sit at the life's airport baggage carousel waiting to see our bags arrive so we can continue our trip self exploration. But when we choose the wrong bag to carry our crap in, we dread claiming it, only removing it from the moving belt out of fear, that the management of our bags will make our trip unpleasant. My emotional travel advice, well simple, get a manageable bag, maybe a backpack. Choose the items we need to take with us. The things that make us function , interesting, real people. Leave that extra crap at home. Allow your bags to enhance your experience not weigh it down or scare the shit out of you, others and small animals.. So enjoy your trip, take some pictures, meet some new people, collect your memories, all of them good and bad. And soon emotional travel will not be a burden but an adventure again...

"A Voice in All This Noise"

Simple thing a spoken word, simple in how it effects us all. We learn to react to voices when we are babies, hearing our parents we move smile, drool, we are soothed. So it is no surprise that the sound of a voice continues to evoke emotions throughout our lives, we still need it as much as then and in some ways more so.
  I grew up before the internet when people actually talked not just typed, yes the written word is amazing it can bring us many places, and make us feel and think. But something is not there, a tone, softness, firmness. I can tell when someone is smiling when I hear them without seeing their face. A voice will will