"Words of Kindness From What Seems Like The AntiBadger"

  I am not know for my words of kindness and thanks, as I am usually seen as, somewhat polarizing and pretty dark. But I can not resist this post as it needs to be said. In a age where we have seem to have rotated back to the Me, Me,Me attitude of the 80s I am moved to emotions at the pure selfless kindness of others of late. You see, I am not always the nicest guy and I am capable of some pretty awful interpersonal issues. Yet despite my relationship dysfunctions people have been very kind to me and I am not sure why but I appreciate it and it makes me want to become a better man.

 I have had other people whos kindness has made me want to be a better man in my life one example is my late wife. I was a real train wreck when we met, worse than I am now, I know hard to imagine, but she saw some kindness and good and motivated me to be a better person.

 So now, after my season of devastating personal emotional collapse and relationship boundary destruction people have still reached out to me, and have supported me in my mental and physical battles. I have   had amazing words and acts of support which have moved me emotionally and deeply. I have had support from a friend who I had recently hurt badly by my actions who, put herself second to make sure I was ok after surgery. These are acts of true human kindness and caring in a manner which I cannot ignore.

 To Ignore these outreaches and acts would be a affront to the people who reached out, It would be a insult to them and their compassion if I did not take these gifts and work to become a better man. Now motived by these souls I will work on being a better friend, man and human. I may not always succeed but if I make a effort to change openly and honestly i will grow as a product. will my sometimes acidic personality go away, probably not and I hope I keep my edge, but I want it to be a better kinder edge.

 In this holiday season, when we are so focused on our own lives, families and struggles, I am see the opportunity for myself and others to reach out to people around us, maybe call a person who we cared about but hurt us or who we have hurt and work to mend some fences, even if the outcome is not a return to closeness that we once had, a repaired respect and friendship is an amazing gift from others. So I will take the gift of kindness that has been so freely given to me and move it forward outward, maybe just maybe I can help someone else like others helped me.

Day 4 NaBloMo "Why I Love Social Media"

 I hear from alot of my friends, "Steve why do you love Twitter, Blogs & Facebook so Much?"
I have thought alot about it. I have been an internet geek for a while my first browser was mosaic and I remember when internet media high tech were animated gifs. I never lost interest in the net and it still holds me captive by it's ability to allow people to share their pain, joy, humor, craziness and stupidity.
 Once we trolled chat rooms asking A/S/L and flavicons. Alot of us suffered the horrors what was AOL and could tell how fast our connection would be by the sounds our modem made when we connected.

 Now it the number one place for news, shopping naked, booking vacations. and porn of staggering varieties. But the changing force to me has been both twitter and facebook. Social media allows us to bypass the cacophony of noise we do not want to hear and allows us to connect with people who we want to listen to. It brings people together, lets us know we are not alone in our own thoughts.
  Recently I have discovered how true this is, as this week I discovered that I have cancer. I announced it to the world on Twitter and Facebook. I was blown away by the support of people who have never met me yet took the time to offer support. People who also share the good things of social media as place to find people who think like you. I have virtually met some amazing people. like Monica Hamburg who shares my inerests in the weirder side of the web, or Beth Snow who i learned is a DR, plays hockey, names her material items. Or Kimli who loves games, has horrible people who live below her and also names her material items. Or Gus Greeper a fellow lover of sock monkeys. I have thru blogs or twitter  virtually met some of the most interesting people i could imagine. I am grateful for these people in my online life they bring me smiles, laughter joy and encouragement. They redefine my love of people and belief that we can be kind unselfish and still stop to enjoy the little wackiness in the world. The internet is not  a lonely place. Or a place for lonely people It is a place for rich, dynamic people to share ideas and hopefully change the world. I know this is a ramble but i needed to post today for NaBloPo and i am on some serious painkillers........