Day 5 of The Badger Go9es Mental, " The Badger Bites His Handlers & Other Weirdness"

As Day 5 tumbles to it's finish like some tortoise and hare race except the Hare is wearing a straitjacket and the poor tortoise stopped to hoard apple juice and crackers.  Today was an odd day for me as I went postal on my doctor and laid the line down to my roommie.

    As you know I have a really fucked back, I am in chronic pain always and sometime this pain get worse and becomes acute. Last night I entered a acute horrific stage of pain, unable to walk ten metres without feeling like Oprah is dancing on my spine, whilst Nancy Grace is gnawing on it. The pain I blame on the beds in the Six Flags of Crazy. They are like building a bridge on Pancakes, except you cannot eat the mattresses, and if you did your diagnosis would probably change and that I do not need.

 A little recent History for  you. When I was in the Emerg getting admitted the shrink said, "yes we will get you pain meds once you are on the ward". That was 5 days ago and my pain free future looks bleak.
 My Dr, whom has a beard and probably likes Jello and kicks Kitties said "NO PAIN MEDS" i could just take Tylenol. Fuck You bearded shrink!! I have a history with this Putz he was my shrink for couple of days last time I was hear and I dumped him then for being a insensitive, arrogant ass. But I was willing to give him another chance til today. See he is a dr who prefers his patients to be soft and submissive, unaware of their rights and easily pushed around. I am not that patient, Not even close, So I went Badger on him and anyone who would listen.  I also called my outside dr and told him about how I was treated.

 I have talked before about the 2 tier Medical System we have. If I was in hospital for lets say some kind of infection, or maybe gout and My back was in the shape it is in I would be getting to see another doc and getting pain management asap. But if you are crazy it is different story. And being depressed sucks being depressed and in pain is a horror show. You would think DR. Beardo would want to make me pain free in order to get me healthy faster. So that was my day, I am lucky my Nurse today is one of the top 3 psych nurses I have ever had. Today I am a Bitter Badger I hope tomorrow goes more gentle. Again Thank you all for your continued support and for reading my rants and drivel.

Day 4 of "The Badger Goes Mental" "The Badger is Bored by The Sabbath"

 It is day four of my voyage to wellness and It is also Sunday the Sabbath if you are not Jewish or a Seventh Day Adventist. What does this mean, you ask? Major Boredom, they are no activities, doctors, groups, underwater basket weaving on Sundays. There is lots of pacing, 6 year old magazines and more gruel for dinner. So I went out for a Japadog and coffee with internet. As much fun as this seems I am still unable to really get pleasure from much these days, a symptom of depression, meh with a capital MEH.

 Tonight's topic of this post is "Booby Hatchery Staff the good the bad and the sometimes ugly". Most of use are familiar with Mental Health professional by what we see on TV, the Nurse Ratchet from Cookoo's Nest or the stereotypical shrink who is a mix of a weirdo with a beard and a Sadist who gets pleasure from making us crazy folk suffer. These are myths , are there nurse ratchets, kinda some nurses do not like their jobs or their paitents. Some others keep the Stigma going by creating a tiered level of care based on your diagnosis, they like depressed people but not manics, and so on. It is sad that some still operate this way. But there are the ones who are compassionate, kind, helpful and caring. These are at least at Burnaby General the rule rather than the exception.

 Then we have the Docs, mine happens to have a beard which in psychiatry seems to run as epidemic as beards on men in Orthodox Jewish community or in beardos on  the hipster ghetto of Main Street. Some doctors will not only judge you on your diagnosis but will also judge you on your education and socio-economic status. If you are rich educated and bat shit crazy you get a pass, if you are from the DTES or Surrey well that is a different story. But they are NOT sadists they actually want you to get better there is no reward for keeping your sick. A lot of patients do not trust the doctors and think they are cruel or cold. They see thousands of ill people a year, and they tend to have a low threshold for BS.

 It is great when you are with staff that include you actively in your treatment plan who treat you as a human and that is what I mostly experience.

If you are ever in my shoes, or know someone who is, give the staff a break they also are human and many of them also have a mental illness because "Nuts Has No Boundaries"  Again thank you all for your continued support the comments you leave help me thru my days of bad tv, gruel and other weirdness that you can only find where I am.

Day 3 O'Badger Goes Mental "The Great Escape & Nut House Socializing How To"

 Day 3 of my madness odyssey brings "The Great Escape of  The Badger" brought to you by Derrek and Airdrie  Miller. I received a day pass today and thanks to the Millers I actually had good food not gruel meant to be eaten by octogenarians with bad dental work. We went for Pho which is right in my comfort zone food wise it is the Vietnamese version of Jewish Matzo Ball Soup if you added tripe, beef tendons and beef. The Crazy ass Badger was kinda happy and rejoiced after with some supervised retail therapy. A ill Bipolar should never shop alone. Need proof I once bought two Mercedes S class cars at one time and on another fruit loop adventure when my wife was away on a work assignment sold all our furniture and bought new furniture dropping 60K ion one afternoon. Today I got a new pair of Keen Sandals and some Old Navy disposable clothing. I also bought flip flops for our Troops in Afghan for 6 bucks.
 My friend Airdrie was worried about my impending ECT treatments and watched a educational dvd on it at the hospital. It shows how bad film and media portray ECT compared to the actual treatment itself.

  On now to make friends and socialize on the ward. It is can be an odd experience for many reason of which  I will now list in convenient bulleted points ;

• Stigma: yup stigma fighting off your own personal stigma of others illness is not easy sometime especially when you are locked up with other ill people, some of which are douche bags and or white trash. But I  try to remember that they are ill too and suffering no matter how many Ed Hardy shirts you  wear. I can have compassion for another's illness but have a hard time with their trashiness.
• Manics Vs Depressives: pick your social poison but I prefer the depressives to socialize with they are less likely to annoy me. Even when I am full on manic I prefer the depressed and the other manics compete for my crazy limelight.
• Cigarettes: You will be asked for smokes all the time. Some people are too poor or have no family and hanging with other puffer fish is a shared bond. But do not keep giving smokes or you will develop a extra conjoined twin in the form of a mentally ill person and it is bad enough living with just yours.

These are just the basics and I will add to them as my trip here continues. As for my mood it is up and down I am fighting both mania and depression which sucks. and speaking of sucking have I mentioned the plastic piss proof pillows and my fruit hoarding roomie who is also afraid of the dark and keeps his night on all night? I am truly hit the roomie lottery. Tomorrow is Sunday and I do not think I will have any visitors. My plan is to avoid all Jello or Jello products, finish reading a book, bark at some squirrels, expound on the art of Tin Foil Hat making and possibly lick the door knob in my room because my roomie is afraid of germs. Again thank you all for your support and for reading may daily posts. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do writing them. Now to sign off from S.S. Nut Bar and will say ado!