Monday, July 5, 2010

Day 10 Of The Badger Goes Mental " Depression, Meds & Tobacco, Jebus Give Me Strength"

Sorry for the odd timed posts of late, I was finding it difficult to write every evening before bed as sometimes I want to spend time with my visitors and not feel rushed so I will now post at my leisure. My roommate is now gone sent home and I had one night alone, I successfully fought off the urge to dance, as a nurse could just walk in and see my junk in it's ungroomed glory. You see knocking before entering seems to be a issue in hospital, they just enter like your university friend in the dorm who just scored a dime bag and a copy of "Forest Hump".  A simple knock and brief pause would be civilized, and not my least favorite know whilst opening the door, who the fuck does that. In some places in Alberta or Idaho that would get you shot.

   Still battling my depression I am up I am down lately I am down more than up kinda like ATT's 3g service. So I soldier on. I have also taken the first steps in quiting smoking, I know Holy Shit!!!! The Badger is Quiting Smoking...The end times must be neigh. For a while now my smoking has been more of addiction than joy, a giant Smokey monkey on my back. The addiction to nicotine is worse than heroin and not as bad as meth but it is very tough. I have smoked for years it was my mistress always there when I needed her. She was with me when I was sad, happy, after a full tummy and after good sex. Now I sent her packing with the help of a patch and  gum. I will let you know when I commit my first homicide over a bus seat or a well done steak.

  Today I bantered around in twitter land in a discussion about meds for nuts. Taking meds is a persons right as is not taking them, it is personal decision. Unless you are a danger to you or others I feel you should never be forced to take them.  I have been on some form of  Psych med since I was 16, My liver is the Keith Richards liver of Crazy Pills I have taken them all. Some stop working for me, some made me fat, really fat, some made me dizzy. I am pretty good meds right now. The one thing I do know is the mind of someone with mental illness will tell them they feel better and, "Why Not Stop The Meds" "I Can Manage With Out Them" .... BULL SHIT... If  you are on meds and "Well" then when you are off them "Not Well" take your fucking meds if not for you for your family, friends, coworkers and random strangers. If you talk to mental health professionals you will find the number 1 reason why people return to hospital is Med Compliance they stop taking their meds. Sure there are websites that say take this supplement and you will be fine, again I call Bull Shit, a fucking banana and a pear will not change your brain chemistry anymore than walking thru a hospital makes you a doctor.

 I perfect example of the "NO MEDS" are good meds camp is the Cult Of Scientology they professes a hate towards mental health care and instead use vitamins , diet and e-meters and we know how well that seems to be working for our favorite , gay midget actor Tom Cruise. Yes diet can help to make you better yes getting off the sofa and just going for a walk releases chemicals of pleasure in your brain, But before you decide to stop taking your meds or changing your meds talk with your doctor, and consult a dietitian. because a healthy diet will make you feel better. Except in my case where I live for fried foods, organ meats and cheese

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