Saturday, July 17, 2010
This afternoon for the first time in my life I felt my life was in danger from another person who is living with mental illness. I am actually at the time of this writing still shaken up by the experience. I will explain the events of this afternoon, they are in no way saying that all people living with mental illness are dangerous they are not. Nor was this person knowingly being dangerous it was just her illness and she is very ill right now.
When I first came on the ward i met some other patients as you do. Being somewhat social is important and I have in the past met some wonderful people in the psych ward. Good people can get sick . So when this person whom I met and had been discharged asked me if I wanted to go get a Dr. Pepper ( which is a weakness for me) I shrugged and said sure. At the time of her discharge see seemed healthier and responsible. As soon as we were driving, the wheels fell off this trip and she swtiched.
Now bipolars and people with schizophrenia can be delusional and hear voices or think they are being told or controlled bu outside people. It can seem scary to people, I am used to it for the most part and understand where it is coming from. BUT!!!!!
\When you are in the passager seat of a car screaming down city streets at speeds up to 100mph and you are being told ."I am rescuing you they are trying to stop your brain from growing with the ECT." and "I know you were raped too in there everyone is" you get a little worried. As she drove I kept asking her to return me to the hospital and she would not, Only driving faster and harder whilst telling me more about her spirit self and how I needed to be saved.
She finally drove me back to hospital after around 35 minutes of this which seemed like hours, and I quickly told the nursing staff, then filled out a report for the RCMP. and chewed on two pieces of nicotine gum. bad day to stop smoking. I settled down but was still nervous coming to the cafe to use my netbook.
While I had this experience I need to point out that this young lady is ill, very ill and needs help. She is highly educated, a accomplished athlete and from a good family. Just her mental illness is controlling her life right now. I wish her no harm, I only hope she can find help before a tragedy happens that no hospital or med can take care of.
I know kind of understand the terror a person feels when they are abducted, or held against their will. It is a scary place that I would not like to visit or wish on anyone. I have also witnessed the power of the mind when it is in runaway mode, and at the peak of Mania. Concerned as well that this young lady was able to fool the staff into thinking she was healthy enough to leave when it is obvious she was not. This places can and are sadly a revolving door. I have seen three people leave and return so far in my short stay. They can get us stable but not make us take our meds. Some people need a greater support system, helping them understand why taking meds if you need them is important also watching behavior when discharged from hospital.
I dont think she would have harmed me but we could have had a serious accident that could have killed us or others. Will I jump in the car with another patient , nope I learned my lesson and even I can be too trusting.